I want to walk on stilts...naked
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
