I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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