ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
