I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
