We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Let's paint friendship bongs
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
