fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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