you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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