You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You ruined the universe
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
