am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
