I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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