I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize