I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
