Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
