Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize