I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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