I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
