I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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