why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
