Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize