i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
