So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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