i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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