i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize