An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
