I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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