Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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