Already got asked if we're dating
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I deserve this hangover.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
