I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
there is puke in my bra ... again
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