i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
