She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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