The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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