I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize