Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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