Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize