My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
