Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
