I feel like abortions should bother me more
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
