I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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