i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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