There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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