really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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