I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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