Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize