Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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