try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
