someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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