bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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