dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
