watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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