is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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