in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
