Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
