What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
