return my video game
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
