Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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