Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
