...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
NoShamevember. You game?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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