Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
