I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
