I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk is not a location!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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