I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
