i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
