i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
there is puke in my bra ... again
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