Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
