I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
