He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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