hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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