I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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