My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
