Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
