That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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