Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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