Just cropdusted the office
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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