He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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