Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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